18 days, 9th of September

fasting for 18 days, after 18 days, it'll all be over, you'll see. if you still care. 9th of September, I'll have to end this.

what do you think?

I wonder nowadays, was it all but a dream? you made it seem like it was all a dream, a past memory, don't know what it means to you but I really wanna know, it puzzles me sometimes when i sit and think about it. You make it seem too easy, just forget about it and just walk away, just put everything behind you. Like it was never there.

You told me, 'don't think too much, I still think of you as my friend.' well, if this is how it's going to be, if this is how you plan to treat me, then I must admit, your definition of how a normal friend treats another friend is truly strange.

牵手：代表他想跟你走下一段路。
抱抱：代表他要给你温暖。
亲你：代表他很爱你。
喂你吃东西：代表他不想饿到你。
送礼物：代表他在乎你。
撒娇：代表他需要你的关心。
自己微笑：代表他在想你。
拔电话给你：代表他无时无刻都想你。
帮你梳头：代表他想跟你白头到老。
背你：代表他要跟你走片天涯。

don't know who sent this recently, but after reading this, I felt it was all true, and it describes perfectly everything that I wanted to tell you through my actions. =(

Thank You For Everything

after last night, everything became clear to me. everything I've lived for, was gone. you've gave up on our love, to you, it wasn't important anymore. at that moment when you said that you could never fall for me ever again, I knew I've lost you. I knew then that I must've hurt you too deep, must've forced you to give up on me. why? why make me do the toughest decision of my life? you said that it was all my doing, you said I let you go away, you said to not wait for something which has no ending, all I can tell you is, when you've met your one true love, it's not that simple to just let it go.

I know I'm not the one for you, I knew that all along, I know you've once loved me as much as I do, but why ask me to let it go? if love is so much a burden for you, why did you ever love? when you're sure that you've met your true love, how can you ever see someone else in the same light again? You're too precious to lose, believe me.

你说过，世上最悲哀的不是生老病死，不是最遥远的距离，而是你爱的人在你面前却不知道你爱他。 这句话说得对啊， 可惜的是，我却不是你爱的人。

you said you would never fall for me again even if I changed, you said it was all in vain, you think I don't know that? you said loving someone forever was childish, if that's what you think, then you probably have not understood what true love is. some people wait all eternity to find their one true love, I thank God to have let me found mine so soon. =)

I once told you, 'you don't marry someone you can live with,you marry the person who you cannot live without. and if the person you cannot live without lives with another, you live alone till the end.' believe me, this is too true.

I may not have known it would become this way the first time i met you, but I never regretted making the decision that you were my one and only soul-mate forever. I love you for who you are, no matter how you may be.

I vowed to keep you in my heart forever, and I shall keep that promise till the end. whatever that may separate us,either by fate,or by destiny, my love for you is forever,and ever..without an end.

everything that I've done for you, I just hope you knew, all i ever hoped for was your understanding, that through these gestures, was the only way for me to show my love for you, without destroying the relationship and trust that we have built during those times we shared, those memories we cherished.

放掉你的诀定，不是我想要做的，不过如果不说，你却要和我断绝关系，在那种情况下，我却能如何呢？我不能和你断掉我们唯一存在的关系，为有保持这样。

希望你明白，爱，虽然不是生活上的全部，但它可是让人开心和开朗的唯一理由。给家人的爱，给爱人的爱，这些都是爱，如果只有一个，我怎样能开心呢？

I truly thank you from the deepest corners of my heart for everything that you've given me, all the precious memories, all the love that you've shown me. it's enough to last me forever, who would have thought 41 days of love was all I needed for a lifetime?..XD

My last prayer of all, is this. It is useless to say it,I know, but it rises out of my soul. For you,and for any dear to you, I would do anything. I would embrace any sacrifice for you and for those dear to you. Try to hold me in your mind, at some quiet times, as sincere in this one thing I ask of you. The time will come when new ties will be formed about you； ties that will bind you yet more tenderly and strongly to your home. When the picture of the person you call your soul-mate looks up in yours, when you see your own bright beauty spring up anew in your blessed children, think now and then that there is a man who would give his life to keep a life you love beside you..my love..for all eternity. So, as long as you're happy, what else matters? =)

I hope you know, to be loved is a blessing, to love is not a sin. Love is everything someone needs, Love for your family, Love for your friends, and your special one. Don't say love is nothing, Love may give you the strength to live and to face problems, Love may also take away life. Hence, learn how to love, and be loved, Learn how to say 'I Love You'...Because you won't know what will happen the next minute, you might not have the chance to tell him or her how much you once loved or cherished them in your life. I promised you that I would be happy, I shall keep that promise..as long as you keep smiling, as long as you stay happy, I would be happy too. =)

Why has it begun? When will it ever end? When will all this madness become an end? Suffering ceaselessly through the times, wondering where's the exit, it's only a matter of time, though it feels like it will never go away, it's just a waste of time, and it's not my line, the great burden it contains, i never dreamed i would retain, how can i throw it away? When all it does is stay and stain? Though stupid it may sound, but memories it contains, precious to me it is, but it's not a bliss, it's a fantasy, never a reality, so it will never come around, why am I dwelling? In this never-ending story? Where there is nothing of use, drowning in the pool of sadness, where there is nothing but despair, one day it will crumble, sadly with me, if i do not get out of it, as quickly as time allows me..

I love you, I loved you before, I love you now, and till the ends of time for me, I will still love you. I stay true in this one oath that I've taken a long time ago, it stays, it stays, till my heart stops beating.

take care & follow your heart wherever it takes you k?..^.^

Goodbye? I don't really know myself..=)

how does it feel when you're on the verge of losing everything?
what does it feel like when you're ready to leave everything behind?
some may disagree, some may say I'm mad,
well, I leave it to fate & destiny, the two brothers whom I have always revered,
I know that if I don't say this now, I'll regret it for all eternity,

I humbly & sincerely apologise to everyone I've ever known for the wrongs that I've done in this short but sweet period of time that I've been by your side.. I'm blessed to have known you guys and it is my utmost pleasure to have made your acquaintance.

I truly thank you for everything you've all once done for me, I...can't put it in words what I really feel for you guys. Good luck in continuing the chapters in each of your lives.

To the people I once held a grudge, I am sorry to have done what I've done, if I had the chance to do it all over again, believe me, I would have done it differently..=)

To three of the most important people in my life,

To the one who has been taking care of me all this while, I know I may disappoint you if I leave suddenly, I'm really sorry, I promise to repay you in my next..well, next time.

To another one of them, thank you for being by my side for so long, I know I may not listen to you most of the time, but, believe it or not, I really appreciate all that you've done for me.

To the most important one of all, you know how I feel about you, before, now, and forever..be with someone who, well, will take care of you in a way I would..okay?..=) That way, I can go peacefully if I ever need to. I love you forever.

What Do You Do

what do you do when you know you've lost her trust?
what do you do when you want her to just be happy?
do you get the best for her and wish her well?
结果真的是那么重要吗？
你的一切，已经成为我生命的一部分。
可能我已经不是你曾经相信的人，
可是，你永远都是我唯一能把所有的心里话都说给你听的人。
可是，现在，你已经不想再听了。

Should take a leaf out from the movie 'more than blue', it's the only thing I could do I guess.

I love you.

~Happy 18th Birthday~

All I wanted was to make sure you at least had a if not memorable, but a normal birthday. What I did was what a best friend would do for another on his/her birthday.

God bless you. I do hope you'll forgive me if I did anything very wrong on your 18th birthday. All I hoped for was to at least see you smile on your birthday.

I'm sorry Alice, we're forever best friends, I would never want to hurt you in any other way. Please be happy..k?

Take care.

What's Your Greatest Wish?

What's your greatest wish?

If you had that one day to have everything your own way, to acquire anything you wished for on that day, what would you ask for?

for me, I'll wish that you lead a happy life throughout your entire lifetime, without worries, without harm, without illness, be it mentally or physically, I would ask that you meet that special someone who truly loves you and is willing to take care of you, every aspect of you considered and up kept in the most perfect and original state that you were. You must mean the world to him and other than you, no one can ever take your place in his heart. As you are for me..=(

I would ask only this, that you find true love, and true happiness. And that you live happily forever and ever..even if it means without me by your side. As you will always be with me by my side, even if we're a million miles apart. Because to me, you're forever in my heart.

You know I wish the world for you, just tell me you need me, and I'll come running.. =x

Every Breath I Take

Being there for you when you needed someone, coming right away when you asked me to, should've gone away, should've not stayed. But why am I still here? Why does my heart keeps telling me to stay? I realized it's because I can no longer bear being away from you, can no longer bear not seeing you, you've become part of my life, part of my soul. I cannot just walk away anymore, cannot just drift away as and when I want to.

Every part of me, every sinew of my physique, every second of my life clings to you, you're everything to me, you're the world to me. My heart is already with you, do keep it safely? Till the day it stops beating, every breath I take, is for your sake.

I love you. Hope I gave you a memorable birthday..=)

As Long As You're Happy, What Else Matters?

what is it about the whole affair that i care so much? what is it about everything that i think too much? we discussed about it today, why can't we ever have a normal friendship? why can't we get along normally? You told me it was because I liked you, it was because I have feelings for you. well, maybe it is, maybe it's because of that, I don't really know. I'm already dead tired trying to find the reason, trying to contemplate everyday, trying this, trying that. And I still can't find the answer. maybe I've tried the wrong approach. maybe I've tried the wrong way. maybe I should just do what i vowed to do all along, to go with the flow, to watch you go through life's many chapters, not to pressure you with anything regarding our complicated relationship. I got jealous, I admit. I realized it now. Shouldn't have stooped so low, shouldn't have did what I wasn't supposed to do, should not have risen to the bait, not to take it to heart, whatever it is that I knew would cause me heart-ache.

I know now I guess. since I gave you my life, I shall live this way. This is the path I chose, this is the road that I shall take. Whoever drops by in your life, even if it was just for a moment, or even it is forever, as long as you're happy, what else matters? =)

I love you.

Do You Know

do you know?
falling in love with you,
was not by my choice,
but of fate's command.

i can't stop loving you,
because it was God's mission for me.

Credits~ More Than Blue a.k.a A Story Sadder Than Sadness

Love Is

Romeo must have been so worried,
loving Juliet,
but afraid he might lose her,
Why did he drink the poison?
perhaps he knew,
To love someone, is to give her everything.

Love is like dry ice,
sometimes cold,
sometimes hot.

You've given me so much,
I feel blessed just knowing you.

I love you.

credits~More Than Blue a.k.a A Story Sadder Than Sadness

You may be gone, but I know you're still there.

told myself not to,
told myself never again,
but why?
why does the sight of your face,
why does your scent,
your touch,
brings back a thousand memories,
brings me back in time.

i close my eyes,
savoring the moment,
never wanting it to disappear.

i tell myself,
that its gone,
that it may never come back,
you,
my lifeline,
my lifetime,
is somewhere out there,
i lost it on my own accord,
let it go away without tying a line,
my heart keeps telling me to calm down,
to accept fate as it is,
but,
uncontrollable reactions in me,
tells me you're still there,
still somewhere nearby,
telling me to hold on,
to catch hold,
where are you?

i seem to have lost you.
but the feeling, the love,
was never gone.

love you for all eternity.

Words I Want To Say

I'm alone... A rainy day...
I'm alone... Time we spent at that place
Because it might hurt, I tried to hold in my tears
If I close my eyes, then it might get better
These constant unreasonable tears
Continues to well up, but it doesn't fall
It doesn't show, I cannot see it
But why does her smile always appear?

If a day passes, will I be able to erase her beautiful features
Just once, I would want to go back to say the words I wanted to say

Can you hear it... the sound of the rain water
Can you hear it... the sky is crying as well
If I cannot cry because my tears dried up
The sky will borrow my tears
The tears that stopped in my eyes
It flows from my ears, and it just stops
Can't hear it... it cannot be heard
But why, just by the sound of her voice can it be heard?

If a day passes, will I be able to erase her beautiful features
Just once, I would want to go back to say the words I wanted to say

Those words... countless times in one day ~
It shouts in my heart ~

If a day passes, will I be able to erase her beautiful features
Just once, I would want to go back to say the words I wanted to say

I'm sorry...
I'm alone... A rainy day...

Credits~Kim Tae Woo